Oh, Alcohol. What is it about you? Why do you make me feel so good? And better still – how do you make my friends so much funnier and better looking?
I went years working as a bartender and never really knew what I was selling to people or how it was made.
I knew that vodka was made from potatoes. I was right about that. Sort of. Barely.
I knew wine came from grapes. Right again. Sort of.
Before you go down the road too far it’s a good idea to get just a basic understanding of what alcohol is. Where it comes from and what is it that happens to your body when you drink it.
What is Alcohol anyways?
The short answer is alcohol, or more specifically Ethyl alcohol, is made from fermentation, which is what happens when yeast eats sugar. Yeast eats the sugars and the er…waste, becomes carbon dioxide and alcohol.
Where does yeast come from? What is it?
The short answer – Science!!
Yeast is a microorganism that lives almost everywhere. It’s found on the skins and surfaces of grapes and other fruits. It’s on the wheat, rye and barley we use to make liquor. It’s in the soil they grow in. It’s found everywhere!
Certain yeasts will grow on the top of a brew mash and others may grow on the bottom. When it comes to beers, Top yeasts will commonly help to make ales. Bottom yeasts will usually help to make lagers.
Don’t get defeated if you can’t grasp all of this information in one sitting. There’s always going to be some ‘know it all’ at your bar that will either correct you or better yet, hopefully, teach you.
The best answer is to just point your finger to the sky and proclaim, “Science!”
That works most of the time for me.
Wine
How did that whole thing start? Thousands of years ago our ancestors climbed trees to get the sweet berries or grapes that grew in the trees. They started saving as many berries as they could in urns and jars. The fruit would sit for a while and the fruit at the bottom would soften and start to ferment. Thats right, the yeast would start to eat the sugars. After a while the juice at the bottom would become a basically low grade wine.
It was around the time that some guy, we’ll call him Larry, drank the wine and he felt a little funny. He got a little relaxed and light headed. He started talking louder and telling bad jokes. He noticed the neighbor girl was really pretty all of a sudden. He started hugging all his friends and telling them that he loved them. He was drunk!
Over the years people began to store and make wine. They were able to grow bigger crops because they could use the fruit to make wine which would last longer than the fruit would.
People then realized that if you mixed a bit of wine with water you wouldn’t get sick from drinking bad water. Back in those days a lot of people would get sick from drinking water that was most likely full of impurities and little creatures that would attack your belly, among other things.
Wine became a big part of culture and you’ll notice it mentioned many times over and over in the Bible and other historical tomes. It truly was a gift from the heavens.
Beer
Also around this time, with the advent of agriculture, people stared growing crops of things like wheat, barley, rye and other cereal grains. Well, these clever folks realized that, like with wine, you could add water and create a ‘beer’.
Like with wine they also realized that if you added a little yeast you could dictate the fermentation process. Yay beer!!
Distillation
So what is distillation and why did they do it?
Most evidence points to alchemists attempting to make or break down compounds. They did this to make perfumes and medicines. Through the process of boiling and capturing steam they discovered a highly concentrated form of the original ‘wine or beer’. They basically removed all the impurities and ended up with a pure alcohol liquid.
This is the basic starting point for all alcohols. Distilled corn, rye or barley might be stored in an oak barrel for a time and through that aging it takes on the colors and flavor characteristics of the wood and voila! – Whiskey!!
Or you could keep it as pure a possible and you’ve got Vodka. Add some juniper and other botanicals and you’ll find your way to Gin.
Any questions? No? Good.
Remember…Science!
What does Alcohol do to your body?
Alcohol is absorbed through your stomach and small intestine. It acts as a depressant to your Central Nervous System. It ultimately makes its way to your brain affecting the inhibitory parts of your brain. This of course causes your inhibitions to lower. This at its best might help you to relax and let go of some stress. At worst it might cause you to think you can kick that bikers ass or kiss that girl at the end of the bar. Or even worse – kiss the biker.
Just remember with alcohol and its use – moderation is key. Too much of a good thing can – and will – kill you.
Long term alcohol use can lead to all kinds of health problems from high blood pressure, to liver disease, depression, heart disease, memory loss….
What were we talking about?
Oh yeah, don’t be stupid with alcohol! Don’t drink too much and don’t pour too much for your guests.
Learn to respect alcohol. Treat it well and it will treat you well.
Disrespect alcohol and you can expect to get sick, get in a fight or wake up next to the biker.
Cheers!
